Advice from Chris Vos, FBI hostage negotiator. Here are his 7 tips:
- Don’t be direct: Direct usually comes off as rude, no matter your intentions. Be nice and slow it down.
- Don’t try to get them to say “yes”: Pushing for a “yes” makes people defensive. Try to get a “no.”
- Do an “accusation audit”: Acknowledge all the negative things they think about you to defuse them.
- Let them feel in control: People want autonomy. Ask questions and let them feel like they’re in charge.
- The two magic words they need to say: Summarize their position to trigger a “That’s right.”
- Listen for levers: They might only need the orange peel. Listen, listen, listen.
- Keep asking “How am I supposed to do that?”: Let them solve your problems for you.
What are your thoughts?